We love you Pop-pop!

Aaron and Pop-pop in July 2007

Sad news in the Hawley house. Adam's paternal Granfather, Edward Hawley, passed away this morning. Pop-pop was 90 years old and lived a very blessed life. He was a very spiritual man and his dedication to his Catholic faith was an inspiration to all. Up until just a few years ago Pop-pop could be found on the basketball court with his grandson Brian and son Dan shooting some hoops. He could also be found during the week at St. Francis volunteering as an Alter Server at daily masses and funerals. He dearly loved his wife of 60 years, Audrey, as well as his sons Steve (my father in law) and Dan and their wives Jeannie (my mother in law) and Mary. Throughout their childhood Dan and Mary's sons Chris and Brian were lucky enough to have Pop-pop as part of their daily lives. Nana and Pop-pop lived pretty close by in New Jersey and were able to spend much time with them.

Although Adam was out in California he had a very special relationship with Pop-pop as well. Adam always enjoyed spending vacations back in New York with all is family. Adam and his father were able to go to New York just this last August and celebrate Pop-pop's 90th birthday with him. I know that they treasured every moment they had with him on that trip.

Pop-pop absolutely googled over his Great-grandchildren, Alec, Aaron and Ashley. The last time we were all out was in July of 2007. Alec and Aaron were running around like crazy kids and Nana and Pop-pop were enjoying every moment of it. Pop-pop's eyes just lit up when whenever he saw them. I was pregnant with Ashley at the time so technically she was able to meet him as well. :)

My grandfathers passed away when I was younger so Pop-pop really took on the roll of grandfather with me. Although I did not get to see him as often as we would wish, the time we did spend together was incredibly meaningful to me. Pop-pop was always complimenting me on what a sweet girl I was and how glad he was that Adam and I found eachother. I thank the Lord every day that He gave me Adam in my life and that Adam came with such a loving family that I could count as my own.

We will miss you Pop-pop!

Adam and Pop-pop in 1978

Thursday 10

Well, what do ya know? It is Thursday and I am posting!! Wonders will never cease!! Ok, it is actually that I am procrastinating all the other stuff I have to do right now. Oh well, whatever gets me to blog!!

1. Adam has been out of town in Sacramento all this week at training and I am leaving at 8:00 tonight to fly up and join him! Tomorrow we will be driving to Tahoe to spend the weekend and then we fly home on Monday night. All of this WITHOUT kids!! YIKES!! I miss them already!

2. Alec comes up to me on Sunday and says to me, "Mommy, do you know what disingenuous is?" I say that no, I don't. He says, "It means a tree where the leaves fall to the ground. When they stay up in the tree they are a evergreen!" OMG. I LOVE all he is learning in kindergarten!

3. Speaking of kindergarten, homework kicked in last week. Each week they get a homework packet with something for them to do each night. Alec has been so excited to do it. We will see how long that excitement lasts!

4. Every day that Aaron comes home from preschool I ask him what he talked about that day. He ALWAYS responds, "dinosaurs and fire trucks." I am going to have to talk to the teachers and see if that is even remotely true!!

5. I am TOTALLY distraught that Jerell was kicked off of Project Runway last night and Kinnley made it to Bryant Park. Kinnley's dress was MUCH better but I just can't stand her as a person OR most of her designs. I am DYING to see what happens next week!!

6. Sad one...a couple of weeks ago Carol passed away. She was a wonderful woman who fought a brave fight. Many prayers go out to her husband Brad and their son Brady. I can not even imagine.

7. Since we are on the topic of prayers, please keep Jim Morin in your prayers! He received a double lung transplant a few weeks ago. He has had set back after set back in his recovery. Jim is an amazing man who has SO much more to give to this earth. Please pray for a full recovery as well as strength for his wife Pat.

8. CONGRATULATIONS to Allie, Jason and Brooklyn on their growing family!! Allie found out last week that she is expecting a new little one in June! I can't wait to be an Auntie again!!!

9. Congratulations also to Big Ashley and Matt who were married on September 20th. We wish you the best in your life together!!

10. We had a BLAST at Ashley's 1st birthday party last week and I promise I will post about it soon...but definitely not until AFTER Tahoe!!

Alright, I gotta go pack!!

Happy 1st Birthday Ashley!

Boy is it hard to even imagine that it has been one whole year since Ashley was born! I know this is so cliche to say, but it has gone SO fast! It seems like just yesterday that I was balling my eyes out by the overwhelming feeling of joy at having given birth to a beautiful daughter. 12 short months later I am still filled with that joy along with so many other feelings, the most being contentment, gut wrenching love, and excitement for what the future holds.



Contentment comes in the form of absolutely loving my family and not wanting a thing to change. After having the boys I felt happy, but still felt that something was missing. Although I had those feelings, I just could not wrap my mind around having another child. I wanted a girl so badly that I could not see straight. I did not want to feel at all disappointed if we tried for another and it was a boy. I know this sounds shallow, don't get me wrong, I LOVE my boys with a fierce passion, but I wanted a girl. When we found out we were pregnant with number 3 I really tried not to get my hopes up. I will never forget that feeling disbelief and joy when the ultrasound tech said that it was a girl. NOW my family would be complete! As much as I would love to go thru it all again, Adam and I both agree that our family feels right just the way it is. Ashley, my gift from God, has completed our already wonderful family.



The gut-wrenching love that I feel for Adam and all three of my kids is something that I longed for all my life. I always knew that I wanted to be a mother and a wife. I knew that I would love my husband and kids, but I never knew just how passionately I would feel that love. All of this love comes in so many different forms. Just watching my kids all play together so nicely (for the two seconds each day that happens), watching them achieve milestones, or even sneaking in at night to watch them sleep. One of my favorite things to do...and I have done this with all of my kids when they were babies...is at least once a week I will sneak into Ashley's room, pick her up about a 1/2 hour before I am going to go to bed and bring her downstairs with me. She snuggles her head into my neck the entire way downstairs and then perks up while we quietly "chat", giggle and smile together on the couch. After about 10 minutes I take her back upstairs and put her back in her crib. She lays right back down, thumb goes back in the mouth, snuggles up to her taggie blanket and falls back asleep. I LOVE those nights. Again, GUT WRENCHING LOVE. No other way to describe it.



My excitement for what the future holds is based on getting to see just what kind of a little lady Ashley turns into. Will she be a girlie girl? If mommy has her way, then yes! Will she want to keep up with her big brothers and become a tom boy? It's ok if she does. When I picture my dream future with Ashley it is filled with baking Christmas cookies together (with Alec also helping and Aaron eating of course), taking her to tap class and sitting in a recital hall watching hours of other people's children dance just to see mine on the stage for 2 minutes. It will hopefully be finding the balance between being a guide for Ashley thru her teenage years so that she does not fall into bad habits, but also maintaining a close relationship with her so that she can come to me as a confidant when needed. I look forward to the day when I look down the church aisle and see Adam leading his daughter down it, and even watching her become a Mom.

Thank you Ashley for being my sweet little daughter!

I love your scrunchy nose smiles.
I love that your face lights up any time that your brothers enter the room.
I love that you are a mommy's girl.
I love that you growl at me when you are in a silly mood.
I love how your eyes light up when someone is really entertaining you.
I love when you snuggle with your Daddy.
I love that you wake up with a smile every single morning.
I love YOU!!

My sweetheart the morning of her 1st birthday. Sorry!! I tried my best, but it was just a BAD hair morning!!