Boy is it hard to even imagine that it has been one whole year since Ashley was born! I know this is so cliche to say, but it has gone SO fast! It seems like just yesterday that I was balling my eyes out by the overwhelming feeling of joy at having given birth to a beautiful daughter. 12 short months later I am still filled with that joy along with so many other feelings, the most being contentment, gut wrenching love, and excitement for what the future holds.
Contentment comes in the form of absolutely loving my family and not wanting a thing to change. After having the boys I felt happy, but still felt that something was missing. Although I had those feelings, I just could not wrap my mind around having another child. I wanted a girl so badly that I could not see straight. I did not want to feel at all disappointed if we tried for another and it was a boy. I know this sounds shallow, don't get me wrong, I LOVE my boys with a fierce passion, but I wanted a girl. When we found out we were pregnant with number 3 I really tried not to get my hopes up. I will never forget that feeling disbelief and joy when the ultrasound tech said that it was a girl. NOW my family would be complete! As much as I would love to go thru it all again, Adam and I both agree that our family feels right just the way it is. Ashley, my gift from God, has completed our already wonderful family.
The gut-wrenching love that I feel for Adam and all three of my kids is something that I longed for all my life. I always knew that I wanted to be a mother and a wife. I knew that I would love my husband and kids, but I never knew just how passionately I would feel that love. All of this love comes in so many different forms. Just watching my kids all play together so nicely (for the two seconds each day that happens), watching them achieve milestones, or even sneaking in at night to watch them sleep. One of my favorite things to do...and I have done this with all of my kids when they were babies...is at least once a week I will sneak into Ashley's room, pick her up about a 1/2 hour before I am going to go to bed and bring her downstairs with me. She snuggles her head into my neck the entire way downstairs and then perks up while we quietly "chat", giggle and smile together on the couch. After about 10 minutes I take her back upstairs and put her back in her crib. She lays right back down, thumb goes back in the mouth, snuggles up to her taggie blanket and falls back asleep. I LOVE those nights. Again, GUT WRENCHING LOVE. No other way to describe it.
My excitement for what the future holds is based on getting to see just what kind of a little lady Ashley turns into. Will she be a girlie girl? If mommy has her way, then yes! Will she want to keep up with her big brothers and become a tom boy? It's ok if she does. When I picture my dream future with Ashley it is filled with baking Christmas cookies together (with Alec also helping and Aaron eating of course), taking her to tap class and sitting in a recital hall watching hours of other people's children dance just to see mine on the stage for 2 minutes. It will hopefully be finding the balance between being a guide for Ashley thru her teenage years so that she does not fall into bad habits, but also maintaining a close relationship with her so that she can come to me as a confidant when needed. I look forward to the day when I look down the church aisle and see Adam leading his daughter down it, and even watching her become a Mom.
Thank you Ashley for being my sweet little daughter!
I love your scrunchy nose smiles.
I love that your face lights up any time that your brothers enter the room.
I love that you are a mommy's girl.
I love that you growl at me when you are in a silly mood.
I love how your eyes light up when someone is really entertaining you.
I love when you snuggle with your Daddy.
I love that you wake up with a smile every single morning.
I love YOU!!
Contentment comes in the form of absolutely loving my family and not wanting a thing to change. After having the boys I felt happy, but still felt that something was missing. Although I had those feelings, I just could not wrap my mind around having another child. I wanted a girl so badly that I could not see straight. I did not want to feel at all disappointed if we tried for another and it was a boy. I know this sounds shallow, don't get me wrong, I LOVE my boys with a fierce passion, but I wanted a girl. When we found out we were pregnant with number 3 I really tried not to get my hopes up. I will never forget that feeling disbelief and joy when the ultrasound tech said that it was a girl. NOW my family would be complete! As much as I would love to go thru it all again, Adam and I both agree that our family feels right just the way it is. Ashley, my gift from God, has completed our already wonderful family.
The gut-wrenching love that I feel for Adam and all three of my kids is something that I longed for all my life. I always knew that I wanted to be a mother and a wife. I knew that I would love my husband and kids, but I never knew just how passionately I would feel that love. All of this love comes in so many different forms. Just watching my kids all play together so nicely (for the two seconds each day that happens), watching them achieve milestones, or even sneaking in at night to watch them sleep. One of my favorite things to do...and I have done this with all of my kids when they were babies...is at least once a week I will sneak into Ashley's room, pick her up about a 1/2 hour before I am going to go to bed and bring her downstairs with me. She snuggles her head into my neck the entire way downstairs and then perks up while we quietly "chat", giggle and smile together on the couch. After about 10 minutes I take her back upstairs and put her back in her crib. She lays right back down, thumb goes back in the mouth, snuggles up to her taggie blanket and falls back asleep. I LOVE those nights. Again, GUT WRENCHING LOVE. No other way to describe it.
My excitement for what the future holds is based on getting to see just what kind of a little lady Ashley turns into. Will she be a girlie girl? If mommy has her way, then yes! Will she want to keep up with her big brothers and become a tom boy? It's ok if she does. When I picture my dream future with Ashley it is filled with baking Christmas cookies together (with Alec also helping and Aaron eating of course), taking her to tap class and sitting in a recital hall watching hours of other people's children dance just to see mine on the stage for 2 minutes. It will hopefully be finding the balance between being a guide for Ashley thru her teenage years so that she does not fall into bad habits, but also maintaining a close relationship with her so that she can come to me as a confidant when needed. I look forward to the day when I look down the church aisle and see Adam leading his daughter down it, and even watching her become a Mom.
Thank you Ashley for being my sweet little daughter!
I love your scrunchy nose smiles.
I love that your face lights up any time that your brothers enter the room.
I love that you are a mommy's girl.
I love that you growl at me when you are in a silly mood.
I love how your eyes light up when someone is really entertaining you.
I love when you snuggle with your Daddy.
I love that you wake up with a smile every single morning.
I love YOU!!
My sweetheart the morning of her 1st birthday. Sorry!! I tried my best, but it was just a BAD hair morning!!
1 comment:
What a sweet post! I'm all teary eyed over here and want to go wake Owen & Hannah up from their naps...almost! Happy birthday, sweet Ashley!
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